Mourning for Icarus by Draper Herbert James, 1898
Shock and Disbelief
I was sitting in the kitchen when my mom ran in with tears in her eyes. She was shocked, lost and confused. A voice mail she had just listened to sent her head spinning.
All the voice mail said was “our Misha is dead” (translated from Russian, Misha is short for the equivalent of Michael).
In a frenzy she began calling overseas for an explanation. He was only in his early 40s, and there was no signs leading up to anything of this sort. Surely she misheard.
Who?
Misha was my mom’s cousin. My mom is one of three sisters, and he was like the brother they never had (a cousin is as close as you can get to that anyway, right?).
I remember him always being around when I was little (I mean tiny). In a closely-knit family he was one of the most beloved members.
Acceptance
After countless phone calls the news had been confirmed. Misha had had a heart attack in his office. Leaving behind a baby and a family that never saw it coming.
My mom broke down. She had just lost her brother.
Still in shock, I had to hold up her limp, crying body. The hardest thing I have ever had to do.
Why did no one see it coming? Was there foul play involved? He was a successful businessman in a country that likes to take advantage of them after all.
All questions to be left unanswered.
Why now?
This happened several years ago. So why am I writing about this now?
Last week I attended the funeral of my girlfriend’s grandmother. I had never really gotten to know her; I had only seen her once before in person.
But I was overcome with emotion witnessing family and friends breaking down in tears. I have been to funerals before, but for some reason this one was harder on me than the others. I almost cried myself on several occasions, and I never even knew her.
Lessons learned and remembered
My girlfriend’s grandmother lived to be 92 years old. And it was clear that over her long life she had touched the lives of many people.
As my girlfriend told me “a death can either bring a family closer together, or farther apart.” In this case it brought her family closer together – a legacy left by her grandmother.
Misha never had the chance for a long life. But in his short time in this world he had touched the lives of many who loved and adored him, and will always miss him.
When he died I told myself that life is too short, and I will never take it for granted. I’m going to live it to the fullest and try to accomplish all I can with the time I have.
How quickly we forget the lessons we learn. And it is a shame that it takes tragedies for us to remember those lessons.
We never know when it will be our time. And the only thing that matters in the end is the lives we impacted while we were here.
So if today was your last day, would you be content with what you have accomplished? With how you impacted the lives around you? Have you accomplished everything you thought you would? If not, have you done something today to change that?
Discover the Secret Ingredients for Using Content to Drive Online Traffic, Leads and Sales TODAY!
Readers are calling the Strategic Content Launch Pad "The Most Wholesome Guide" ever read.
Click Here to Get Instant Access to Your Risk Free Copy!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
No related posts.
Eugene, earlier this year I read ” A Year to Live”, by Stephen Levine. I found that LIVING on purpose helped me to grow closer to who I am and live with more joy every day, even the dark ones. I enjoyed this post. All I really want is to be who I am in and for the world and to have a place in someone’s heart when I’m “gone”. Thanks for the encouragement!
Having a place in someone’s heart when you’re gone is the sign of a successful life, I think. Just witnessing how many people really cared at this funeral was quite moving. I think happiness does come from finding oneself. But that is a task easier said than done.
Eugene, I’m so sorry for your loss. My condolences to you and your family.
Thanks Danny. It’s been a few years now so nothing that we’re dealing with now. But going to the funeral reminded me of the lessons I learned.
This really got me thinking. Firstly, I’m so sorry for your loss and may his memory remain in the hearts of many.
Life really is too short! Recently I heard of a bright young girl who had passed away…. she was old fifteen. She had a bright future ahead of her and everything!
Seize the moment now and do things with your family and friends. People should create memories from an early age as you just never know how life can be!
Yes, we tend to take things for granted not realizing we only have a limited time.
Sorry for the loss…Condolences to you…Don’t worry, everything will be okay soon…
It’s been a while for me now, so nothing I have to deal with. I”ll pass on the condolences to my girlfriend though.
I’m sorry to hear about your uncle Eugene. It’s such a shame when we see people dying, especially those close to us, who we knew had more left in them to give. But ultimately, it’s not up to us to decide how long we live for.
Life, this one life, is all we have. I believe there’s a lot more to it than what we assume, but I don’t know if I’ll ever figure it out. So whilst I try, I intend to make the most out of this life to the best of my abilities.
Take care amigo
I’m not even going to start assuming about what goes on beyond this one life, because I know that I can’t know. But making the most of what we have is definitely important. Too bad that sometimes it takes tragedies to remind us of that.
Live today – more than you can imagine, live it fully. Forgive. Love fiercely.
I think you’ll like my podcast, Eugene.
Words of wisdom but often easier said than done. I’ll have to check out the podcast.
Oh, those funerals, I cry on every single one of them, even though I don’t know the person who died so well, it is like I feel their sorrow inside me. I don’t know if it is barely empathy or something else.
AND yes, you are right, life is too short, you have to live the maximum out of every single day. Or at least try.
It might be empathy, especially if you’ve had someone close die. Living live to the maximum every day should be everyone’s goal. But life gets so hectic that people get caught up in the day-to-day grind and forget how lucky we are to be here.
It’s odd how in a second your whole life can change. We never realize how much we take things for granted until it’s too late. We really need to step back and look at the big picture. Life is great and the more we can open up and help others live and laugh the better we become. That’s my goal. To help as many people as I can and have fun doing it.
Good post. It touched my heart and left an impact. It’s always good to refocus and get clarity. Because you never know when your time is up.
I’m happy it left an impact, that was my goal. I actually got a little choked up as I was writing it, which doesn’t happen very often.
I think too many people get caught up in their lives and forget to slow down and reflect. I know I do. And it really upset me when I realized that I only really stop to reflect when such a tragedy happens.
Hopefully I’ve learned my lesson.
Hi Eugene,
Very interesting thoughts Eugene. I must say that I’m happy what I’ve accomplished so far, but I’m not finished yet, not by far. I have things to do my friend, lots of things. And, instead of living like every day is my last day, I’m living like every day is my first day and that I’m discovering everything for the first time. That’s so much more fun
I hope you’re having a fantastic summer.
Jens
Jens, you never disappoint. That’s a take on life I’ve never heard before. To live each day like it’s your first, not your last. That’s such an awesome outlook. I’m stealing that from you! But don’t worry, I’ll attribute it to “my blogger friend Jens” when I dish out the advice.
I’m having an awesome summer. Big news coming in a post tomorrow.
How has your summer been so far?
My summer has been fantastic so far, and it’s almost just started. I have more than two weeks left of this vacation, and then, in the start of September I’m leaving for Italy and will be there for another two weeks (in Rome). So, I guess I can’t complain
Looking forward to your big news.
One of the great things about death is to make family members closer together. Sometimes, decade old divisions can be broken by a death of someone special in the family.
That’s the one side of it. Sometimes it can break families apart…but hopefully it’s the first option and something positive can come out of a tragedy.
After reading the title of this post, I knew I had to read on, Eugene. I just recently attended a funeral myself, that of my best friends sister who succumbed to cancer after a short six month battle. Unlike the lack of closeness with you and your girlfriends grandmother, I knew her very well and I am very close to her three daughters. It was hard to accept the fact that just a few months ago, she was so full of life and energy. She loved to run and play badminton with her husband. Nothing could have prepared her family for her illness. More so for her passing a few months later. Her death made me realize that we should never take each day for granted. We often do not entertain the thought of death, and yet it is the one thing most certain in life. We should always make the most of life, and love as much as we can.
I couldn’t agree with your conclusion more. Unfortunately it often takes a tragedy to remind us of that.
That’s one of the reasons I wrote this post. So I can come back to it and remind myself.
Sometimes death comes unexpectedly. I am sorry to hear about your uncle and your girl friend’s grandmother. They are so lucky to have so many love ones who cares for them. As I grew older, I become more aware that life is short and need not to be wasted. I am dedicating my life now in a quest for accomplishments that I would be proud of. I don’t want to have regrets and I will try to learn as much as I can.
There’s no way we can accomplish everything we’ve set out to do, but we can narrow that list down as much as possible and avoid a big load of regret in the end.
If you manage to be prepared for it every day, well then i envy you.
I wish I could be prepared every day. Still working on it.
Sorry to hear that, but its part of life and we just have to accept it and try our best to move on. We really should just live our lives to fullest and never take anything for granted. Life can always surprise us, good or bad.
Unfortunately that is easier said than done. But it’s something that we should strive for for sure.
This is such an inspiring post Eugene. Sorry to hear about your girlfriend’s grandmother and about your uncle. Life is indeed short for someone who has a lot of dreams like me. I’m taking things once step at a time to make sure that I will be able to achieve all my goals. But in case this will be last day, I can say that I’m pretty contented with what I have done so far. But when I come to think of it, it’s not really the goals and dreams that I ahve achieved that makes this life meaningful to me but the people I love and I’ve treasured.
It is definitely all about the people. You can live on through people’s memories.
[...] I’m not sure how to define beautiful. But this post hits me where it hurts because of some recent events in my life: http://www.realityburst.com/death-remembrance-and-lessons-learned [...]
Maybe you also felt the sadness of your girlfriend. That’s why you’ve almost shed a tear for her grandmother’s death. Anyway, her grandmother already found her place now with our God.